4th of july is truly a grand holiday....it succeded in enhancing my hatred for fat suburban bitches by like 32904809235 times...ive told the story many times already so if you havent yet heard it you're screwed like gwen was with the pogues..

basically i broke some 300lb bitches nose that looks alarmingly like this charming woman...who happens to look exactly like gwens grandma

[IMG]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y43/surferchick7305/ist2_476471_angry_lady.jpg[/IMG]

yea so today i did nothing....i skated....and ran into these 12 yr old sk8er bois and thoroughly pissed em off...and then drove by my future home outside the salvation army on burnside on my way to powells to find a book they DIDNT have...their computers lied to me...how can there be a book that powells doesnt have?

jklsddhfeklrue not much is going on with me at the moment...yesterday was my birthday so me and some friends drove out to eastern oregon for the day cause lizzi loves the desert....and then i came back and we went to blue hour in the pearl district for dinner that ended up costing nearly $200 for 4 people....and then i went to powells to attempt to find the book they still dont have and braved the masses of harry potter fans....it was interesting.

and....gweno got in a car accident which is really sad cause gwens the unluckiest person i know even :( but i know she'll be ok cause its not possible  for gwen to not make it through something

a month from now i'll be in singapore.

i was arguing about god/religion with some kid earlier and he accused me of being afraid of god and thats why i deny that he exists.  with everything thats going on the world today why would i be afraid of a guy in the sky who really all he can do to punish me is send me to hell? This world we are living in is hell right now. Religious extremists killing right and left...for what i ask? no matter what they gain while they're alive everyone dies eventually and gets buried or cremated and to me i believe that is the end.  A country (the US) that thinks it's the father of all these unruly children (everyother country in the world ) and treats them as such.  We feel that we have the right to attack these countries and keep them in line and decide their futures (much like a father forcing a kid to do football or something) and then they make threats against us that they're very capable of fullfilling all we do is call them 'irresponsible'.  Police in london shot an innocent man on friday for nothing.  Because he looked like a suspect from the bombings and he panicked when they came up to him.  I would too.  But they didnt have to end his life because of it. So you see, this world is the true hell.  True, we die and we do not have to suffer in it forever but until the last person who will ever exist on earth dies the hell continues.

soooooooooooo i attempted to windsurf at hood river yesterday.  Ive been surfing for around 15 years...skating/snowboarding for around 7 years.....i cannot windsurf.  You have to do some many things at once its fucking crazy...when you're surfing all you have to do is stand up on the board to catch a wave.  When windsurfing, you either have to stand on the board and pull the sail up with a rope then grab the bar before the sail falls back into the water and the entire time its going all diff directions and flipping side and shit OR you have to stand in the water, grab the pole thing with one and and the bar on the sail with the other and push up and at the same time get your feet onto the board and stand upa nd grabd the bar with both hands and you're ready to go.  My god its fucking complicated....im determined to get good at this shit considering i just got about $2000 worth of free windsurfing boards/equipment so i might as well be able to use it. Anyways so i will never be criticizing windsurfing again after this little adventure.

im bored bored very bored and more bored.  I hate telephones honest to god i do. Why must 598309805 telemarketers call at 9 am and wake me up when i went to bed at 6 am and give me a headache?  life is unfair.  Speaking unfair i miss gwen...cause yea things just arent the same without her being a bully to everyone and playing vanilla ice and all the little kids songs she has...

sooo its 4:48 am and im fookin bored.  Im trying to not go to bed until atleast 6am until august 13th cause i gotta get used to sleeping at odd hours in japan cause 6am here is like 10 pm there so that should be interesting...its really no diff than the hours i was sleeping before anyway im just getting more used to it....sooooooooooo i just get to sit here till 6/7am and talk to marcus and have him keep me awake which is good :)

this week seems like an in-between week...inbetween what i do not know...i guess im just waiting to get out of Bible Thumpin' Country and into the Land of Small Penis/a couple other asian countries.  Gotta get some much shit ready for this trip its insane...gotta get these plug things so i can actually use my mp3 player, video camera etc over there cause in singapore they use like 5 diff plug things and none of them are the same as in the US...and ive got various other shit to do...like figure out how much of my millions of articles of clothing i can stuff into a duffle bag/suitcase type thing and a back pack cause thats all the luggage i can take...anyways i hope ive bored whoevers reading this to tears

august sucks.  it sucks more transexual midget penis than being 20 does.

august is the last of my time in oregon until thanksgiving and when i go to asia

it's when marcus goes back home and wont be able to talk to me much before i leave for asia and none when im gone

its when i go to vancouver for labour day weekend like i always do and the realization that summers pretty much over sets in

august is sleeping, boredom, packing, shopping, plane trips and sadness. august sucks.

so its 6:48 am and im gonna go spend some quality time with the meth fiends of portland in about a half hour. yippee. if i never come back...well...you'll know what happened to me.

august still sucks but not as much as meth addicts

i want thai chicken pizza.

bleh....so now i have a glorious wet suit tan and a face that looks like a lobster lol...went to indian beach to go surfing today...waves were pretty small but i didnt really care...just needed to get away from portland and relax in some nice 52 degree water...ended up not taking enough breaks so my feet stayed numb for about 3 hours after i left which wasnt very pleasent...my moms kinda doing better i guess but im still worried cause she's been drinking alot again (shes an alcoholic) and so i think thats not gonna help her too much...2 weeks from now i'll be on a plane to Tokyo and hopefully will end up having a good vacation there...wont be able to talk to anyone for a good two weeks most likely so that pretty much sucks a fat one...just dont forget about me

after i get back im gonna have 4 more days in oregon before going to vancouver for labour day weekend and then back to portland to fly back home and that will be the end of my summer...all fucking year i waited for these two measly months and now i cant believe its almost over..its amazing how quickly time passes when you get older.  when i was younger people would tell me that and i wouldnt believe them but now i realize its fucking true and it sucks...i keep feeling like im doing nothing with my life..like i should be doing something important, changing the world. but im not. im just a lazy ass who hates college and surfs. i guess surfing isnt a waste of time but the rest of the shit i do is...i want to stop wasting my life which ive done for about 6 years now but i dont know what i should do to stop...gotta just go along with shit i guess and wait for a good oppourtunity to accomplish something

i miss my marcus :( he's disappeared off somewhere so im stuck listening to one of the best depressing elliott smith songs of all time

nvm i found him.

eh yea so i was watching Blow at like 3 am last night and fell asleep...meant to wake up at 11am ish so i could go to the J&M and get breakfast but no...i wake up at 4 pm-ish. ergh i hate alarm clocks. i also hate neighbors that think everyone on the vlock wants to listen to their music (ok....so maybe im just a little hypocritical) so after i woke up we had the Black Eyed Peas vs. Anti-Flag/misfits battle...who could play the loudest...i won with my 5 different volume controls and digital sound for my speakers on my comp.  yay me. talked to marcus for awhile after that and then had to go cause my cousin wanted to hangout...so we did....she wanted to get stoned so she did and i stayed sober which is really no fun but still...im over that shit now pretty much i think.  since i quit all that shit drugs/weed whatever have become kinda phobic for me.  i have smoked a few times since i quit awhile ago and it's just no fun and it makes me sick to my stomach. it makes me sick even thinking about it.  i spose i am a little harsh on people that do smoke and sound holier than thou but honestly my opinion is that theres better things you could be doing.  i mean sure if you need drugs to write great songs if you're a musician and arent wasting your time, more power to ya...but if you're just sitting there watching tv when you could be out skating or something somewhat more productive..to me thats just kinda lame and waste of time. anyways so if you're wondering whats my problem with all that shit if ive bitched to you about it before its because it's become a sorta phobia to me.

anyways....moving on...

i think i have discovered one of my favourite songs...which tend to change alot but this one i think will stick around for a good long while

Elliott Smith-A Distorted Reality's Now a Neccessity to be Free...if you havent heard it get it and download it and dont bitch about how gay he sounds because he can sing somewhat high pitched. listen to the lyrics and the music

i'm floating in a black balloon
o.d. on easter afternoon
my mama told me baby stay clean
there's no in between
and all you ladies and you gentlemen
between is all you've ever seen or been
fit poorly and arrange the sight
doll it up in virgin white

you disappoint me
you people rakin' in on the world
the devil's script sells
you the heart of a blackbird

shine on me baby cause it's rainin' in my heart

sun is rising on a chopping glare
rain dropping acid blotter in the air
a distorted reality's now a neccessity to be free

so disappointing
so first i put it all down to luck
god knows why my country don't give a fuck

fuck

shine on me baby cause it's rainin' in my heart
shine on me baby cause it's rainin' in my heart

i miss marcus :(  ....and hes leaving today :( :(

barking dogs, telephones, spinning chairs and emo songs at 7 am. this is my life. arent you jealous?

1. What is your full name? Elizabeth Sarah Jonson            

sooo last night me and abby hung out and did nothing really...just watched cruel intentions, thirteen, crazy/beautiful and not another teen movie which was alright...sometimes it sbetter to be bored with someone else. went to bed around 6 am...fuck last night was the worst night for sleeping ever...so at like 7:30 abby and i get woken up by what sounds like 5 chain saws and a wood chopper/grinder thing...which is what it was goddamnit..they were chopping ona the trees down in the neighborhood and ugh it sucked penis cause they kept starting and stopping and starting and stopping again...i so i got a total of about 2 hrs sleep last night and i have to be somewhere at 4 ish :( oh well atleast marcus hasnt left yet

asdfghjkl im bored as fook and its only like 3:26 am...dunno if im gonna go downtown this morning like i usually do on wednesdays...if the tree people come at 8 again im for sure going cause im not gonna get any sleep anyway...it just kinda depends on that and whether marcus gets online cause he's sposed to go home today :( which means i wont really get to talk to him much before i go which sucks a fat one so i wanna be able to say bye and stuff..until then i just get to listen to sad depressing songs by Ryan Adams and Elliott Smith..who by the way are awesome and yea...im still pissed about this summer going by so fast..dunno what im gonna do next summer...come here and get a job maybe for the hell of it...i dunno..i havent had a job since i was 16 so that should be interesting.  kinda pointless to get a job and kinda pointless not to. oh well its next summer so i'll worry about it then.  im just glad that this summer has been happier (most of the time) than the ones in the past...god i dont even wanna think about some of those. ive got marcus to talk to and im in oregon and not too stressed out anymore (my moms happy again)...no family drama for once..thank jesus..my family reminds me of a bunch of psychotic catholic leeches...sucking the happiness out of the few sane happy people left in the family...not that theres many anyway and even less sober people to notice.

i was thinking last night...how ive known soo many of my friends for atleast 14 or 15 years..some since i was just born..im scared for what happens after college...i mean alot of them are already spread out across the country but like...after college seems so final. like they're never gonna come back here when they graduate and i wont see them again...and most of the ones that are still back home at UH with me or just being bums want to leave and go somewhere on the mainland..no clue what my plans are...i feel like one of those idiots in college who spend their entire time there trying to figure out their major and then when they graduate they still dunno what they wanna do with their life.  personally i dont want to do anything. i dont want a job, i dont want to have a boss or anything. basically im just scared of graduating and then before i know it im middle aged, depressed and hate my job and think i should've chosen something different to study in college and i dont have time to go back now and get a diff degree. im happy surfing and doing nothing for the rest of my life. going back and forth between the islands and the mainland whenever i get bored with one place sounds good...always having a home in hawaii and figuring out the rest from there. eh who knows..i just keep thinking i cant be a bum of the rest of my life.

anyway heres a grand song for you folks. download it.

RYAN ADAMS

"Dear Chicago"

Dear Chicago,
You'll never guess.
You know the girl you said I'd meet someday?
Well, I've got something to confess.
She picked me up on Friday.
Asked me if she reminded me of you.
I just laughed and lit a cigarette,
Said "that's impossible to do."
My life's gotten simple since.
And it fluctuates so much.
Happy and sad and back again.
I'm not crying out to much.
Think about you all the time.
It's strange and hard to deal.
Think about you lying there.
And those blankets lie so still.
Nothing breathes here in the cold.
Nothing moves or even smiles.
I've been thinking some of suicide.
But there's bars out here for miles.
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted (bad / back)
I think the thing you said was true,
I'm going to die alone and sad.

The wind's feeling real these days.
Yeah, baby, it hurt's me some.
Never thought I'd feel so blue.
New York City, you're almost gone.
I think that I've fallen out of love,
I think I've fallen out of love . . . with you.

so ive become an elliott smith fanatic....well not really but still. im goin downtown in an hour because apparently theres no one here to convince me to not go and risk rape/death/dismemberment by the meth fiends and the bums on burnside.  think im just gonna go to noahs bagels on 23rd and get something to eat and hangout at the square for awhile and just watch people or something.  cities are amazing in the morning...good at night too but honolulu and portland are great in the morning. you get normal people and whackos mixed and its good stuff. so yea...if i dont return....it's been good times

dunno if i'll be here later today and im gonna be surfing tomarrow.

oh and i think ive forgotten to eat since tuesday. whoops.

elliott smith--come to me

i'm not used coming through
more accustomed to a falling out
trying hard now as i can for you
not to fuck up on some stupid doubt
you got your hopes set way up high
way on up there where the air is thin
limit's supposed to be the sky
trying not to let you down again

it's starting to come to me
i didn't know about, i hadn't figured it out
but it's starting to come to me now
a little bit too late

i can't see anything you've done
any reason for the trouble you've got
you haven't hurt anyone
compared to most i'd say you're quite alright
i can't help you when you're sad
that's a constant source of pain to me
because i want to really bad
even though you make it seem like nothing

it's starting to come to me
didn't know about, i hadn't figured it out
but it's starting to come to me now
a little bit too late

elliott smith & pete krebs--shytown

Crossing my eyes and making
Faces
I hope we don't go too many
Places
Cause then before I go to sleep
I'll wonder exactly what she
Means when
When she says I am too shy

Finding a way to stay inside
She always asks me are you
Having a good time
Come in here where the band is
Playing
Are you coming along or are
You staying
I'm fine-quit asking

It's the hardest thing to meet
Her friends
I always feel like I have to
Entertain them
All alone with the jokes I forget
I'm someone's boyfriends and a
TV set
I live in Shytown

i actually slept at night. yes folks lizzie actually slept...at NIGHT! lol...went to bed at 9 ish or something at woke up at 11 cause my friend got me a t shirt from the white stripes show and woke me up to give it to me...even tho i hate the white stripes but oh well...i'll just cross the band name out on the shirt lol...went back to sleep at woke up at like 6:30 am...figured out i couldnt remember anything before i went to bed last night...god knows why. i think i had a dream about thai chicken pizza last night...honestly...now i want some or a mushroom and swiss burger from mikes drive-in which are fabulous. helping my friend move tonight and tomarrow so i dunno how much i'll be online before i leave...god im just soo looking forward to this 22 hour plane flight or whatever. portland to san fran to LA to oahu to tokyo....oh joy. its gonna be worse on the way back tho...kuala lumpur to oahu to LA and back....its gonna fucking kill me lol...oh well atleast i get to watch shit tv on the back of my seat for 22 hours. god it feels like fucking winter here....even if it is 61 degrees...its cloudy and cold and rainy and asdfghjkl it pisses me off...didnt get to sit in the sun again this morning :(

im in an internet cafe in singapore at the moment...got here on thursdaz night...wednesday to you folks...tokzo was absolutely insane...ive never been on a subway before and i guess that was a bad place to start...NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH altho i kinda expected that...after trying to find where the subwaz entrance was for like an hour and a half i finallz found it and made it to the ginza district which is where like all the designer stores and crap are...so i walked around there for awhile and then went down some alley and ate in this totallz hole int he wall tempura place and had the best shrimp tempura i will probably ever eat. first night there there was a lighting storm right next to my hotel in the middle of the night so that was prettz scary and amazing at the same time...second daz there which was the daz of the earth quake if you heard about it i took the marunouchi line at shinjuku to ginya where i took the hibiya line to ueno and walked around there and shit...didnt end up getting shitfaced...in that place its damn near impossible...so anyway tokyo was awesome...probablöz the ugliest citz in the daytime ill ever see tho but its cool at night which all the signs lit up and shit...if i can find a waz to move to singapore i deff will...its beautiful here...vancouver BC meets honolulu meets caribbean...so anzwazs ill post again in a daz or too...just wanted zou people to know im still alive

bleh...so im back from vancouver which kinda sucks...i gotta do some research about how to become a canadian :|...didnt do much while i was there...went shopping on robson as usual...had all you can eat japanese food at this place called tanpopo on denman...if you ever go to vancouver i highly recommend it..went down to yaletown on friday night to drink and whatnot...good fun...went to whistler on sunday where it was pouring rain all fuckin day which kinda sucked...there were all these psycho fuckers still out there mountain biking all covered with mud and shit...crazy bastards...so anyway that was mostly my trip to vancouver...now for what happened when i got back...

i havent been home since like june something rather...for more than a few reasons. but anyway not being home meant i havent seen my mom since i left which normally she would be thankful for and was up until very recently apprently. anyways so she didnt know i was going to canada and she also didnt know when or if i was coming home which obviously i am because as much as i would like to drop out of school i dont think i will...but anyways so she decided that she just haaaaaaaaaad to fly all the way over here to drag me home and ofcourse when she got there on friday i wasnt there so she got a few days worth of figuring out exactly what she was going to scream at me the second i walked through the door on monday evening and scream she did. we screamed at eachother for like an hour or so...she was bitching about me abandoning her for months and how i treat her and that im only here because im avoiding going back to school because im a lazy ass who just wants to sit around and sleep or surf all day and cant even work a washer and dryer...which is true but whatevers...so then i had to scream back at her all the reasons why i hate being at home...mainly because of her and the fact shes always drunk which she didnt wanna hear and then i had to tell her that she treats me 2000 times worse than ive ever treated her so ive given up being nice and that im not avoiding going back to school because i actually have a plane flight back home on the 8th and that as much as i enjoy being a lazy ass and have enough money to do that for the rest of my life pretty much without worries i dont want everyone seeing me as a lazy rich chick whos never worked a day in her life and cant do anything worthwhile but yea that was pretty much our entire fight and a wonderful ending to my summer and an additional reason why i want to move far far away to the land of aboot and eh

(i didnt write this)

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our womens' rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it
I doubt it

junk bond trader---

the imitation picks you up like a habit
writing in the glow of the tv static
taking out the trash to the man
give the people something they understand

mistake a nervous flash for a fine-line smile
junk bond trader trying to sell a sucker a style
rich man in a poor man's clothes
the permanent installment of the daily dose

and you tell me, "fool, you tell it like it is"
your wall's gone wider than your head trip is
checking into a small reality
void as a drug you take too regularly

the athlete's laugh; the broken crutch
the first true love folded at the slightest touch
brought down like an old hotel
people digging through the rubble for things they can resell

"happy holidays," sad, sick savior
the leaving lover i still favor
i won't take your medicine
i don't need a remedy
to be everything i'm supposed to be
i don't want nobody else
i can do it by myself
we're meant to be together

now i'm a policeman directing traffic
keeping everything moving, everything static
i'm the hitchhiker you recognize passing
on your way to some everlasting...

better sell it while you can
better sell it while you can
better sell it while you can
better sell it while you can

needle in the hay---

your hand on his arm
the hay stack charm around your neck
strung out and thin
calling some friend trying to cash some check
he's acting dumb
that's what you've come to expect
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
he's wearing your clothes
head down to toes a reaction to you
you say you know what he did
but you idiot kid
you don't have a clue
sometimes they just get caught in the eye
you're pulling him through
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
now on the bus
nearly touching this dirty retreat

falling out 6th and powell a dead sweat in my teeth
gonna walk walk walk
four more blocks plus the one in my brain
down downstairs to the man
he's gonna make it all OK
i can't be myself
i can't be myself
then i don't want to talk
i'm taking the cure so i can be quiet
wherever i want
so leave me alone
you ought to be proud that i'm getting good marks
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay

download it....you'll be converted

http://s38.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2SHOKM3JPF9510CNZ17LOXNWIY

so i guess im not the most desirable person to now/be friends with at the moment....yea...i dont even know anymore...bye

10 years ago....

1. i was 10...

2. was the last time i went fishing with my dad

3. my sister was born 2 years later

5 years ago...

1. was drunk/high/fucked up on something for almost all day everyday

2. stopped surfing for awhile 

3. i really cant remember much

3 years ago....

1. got pregnant

2. im pretty sure i was living in california for awhile

3. got thrown half way across a room into a coffee table

1 year ago....

1. met marcus

2. started college

3. was generally miserable

Yesterday...

1. i went surfing 

2. i fell on my ass attempting to skimboard

3. i got completely wasted

Today...

1. im tired

2. i watched pretty woman for the 9759575th time

3. i had top ramen for dinner for probably the 20th night in a row

Tomorrow....

1. its gonna be monday which sucks

2. im taking pictures with emily

3. im gonna try to be happy

our thing

see you later

2:45 am

a distorted reality is now a neccessity to be free

a fond farewell

a passing feeling

a question mark

a silver chain

abused

alameda

alphabet town

angel in the snow

angeles

baby britain

ballad of big nothing

because

between the bars

big decision

blackout blue highway

bled white

blue mood

bottle up and explode

brand new game

christian brothers

clementine

coast to coast

come out now

come to me

coming up roses

concrete jungle (marley cover)

cupids trick

dancing on the highway

dissappearing ink

doin ok pretty good

now you wanna show me how

miss misery

everybody cares everybody understands

everything reminds me of her

figure 8

flowers for charlie

for no one

georgia

go by

going nowhere

hangin out with me

happiness

holiday

how to take a fall

i better be quiet now

i cant answer you anymore

i didnt understand

i figured you out

in the lost and found

independence day

jealous guy

kings crossing

lets get lost

living in a cage

long long long

mr good morning

needle in the hay

no confidence man

no life

no more

no name #1

no name #2

no name #3

no name #4

no name #5

no name #6

oh well okay

pictures of me

pitseleh

placeholder

planclothes man

pretty (ugly before)

pretty mary k

pretty mark k alternate

punch and judy

riot coming

roman candle

rose parade

satellite

say yes

see my city dead

seen how things are hard

shooting star

shytown

single file

so many people

some song

somebody that i used to know

something to lose

son of sam

southern belle

speed trials

splitsville and snowbunnys serenade

st ides heaven

stained glass eyes

stick man

strung out again

stupidity tries

supersonic

sweet adeline

the biggest lie

the enemy is you

the last hour

the white lady loves you more

thirteen

tiny time machine

tomarrow tomarrow

trouble

true love

twilight

waltz #1

waltz #2

wouldnt mama be proud

place pigalle

condor avenue

chelsea girls

get lucky

junk bond trader

i me mine

yer blues

waterloo sunset

LA

and the band played waltzing matilda--

When I was a young man I carried my pack
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the murrays green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said son
It’s time to stop rambling ’cause there’s work to be
Done
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war
And the band played waltzing matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the
Cheers
We sailed off to gallipoli

How well I remember that terrible day
when the blood stained the sand and the water
And how in that hell that they called suvla bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter
Johnny turk he was ready, he primed himself well
He showered us with bullets, he rained us with
Shells
And in five minutes flat he’d blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to australia
But the band played waltzing matilda
As we stopped to bury our slain
And we buried ours and the turks buried theirs
Then it started all over again

Now those who were living did their best to survive
In that mad world of blood, death and fire
And for seven long weeks I kept myself alive
while the corpses around me piled higher
Then a big turkish shell knocked me arse over tit
And when I woke up in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, christ I wished I was
Dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying
and no more I’ll go waltzing matilda
to the green <bushes so far and near
For to hump tent and pegs, a man needs two legs
No more waltzing matilda for me

So they collected the cripples, the wounded <and>
Maimed
And they shipped us back home to australia
the legless, the armless, the blind and insane
Those proud wounded heroes of suvla
And as our ship pulled into circular quay
I looked at the place where me legs used to be
And thank christ there was nobody waiting for me
To grieve and to mourn and to pity
And the band played waltzing matilda
As they carried us down the gangway
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
and they turned all their faces away

And now every april I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me
i see my old comrades, how proudly they march
Reliving the or their dreams of past glory
i see the old men, all twisted and torn
The forgotten heroes of a forgotten war
And the young people ask me, what are they
Marching for?
And I ask myself the same question
And the band plays waltzing matilda
And the old men still answer to the call
But year after year their numbers get fewer
Some day no one will march there at all

Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
Who’ll go a-waltzing matilda with me?

lullaby of london--

either/or

you're strong, you're stubborn now
in an endless symbolic war
brave or bored, either/or

sometimes i ricochet from the past
and at times a future i’ve already had before
champion or chore, either/or.

i’ll write the pages you rip out
back in their places again
one day you’ll know what you’re talking about
i can hardly imagine, but until then i’ll be

filling in these blanks that you create
every time you win some petty score
posing as hardcore, oh yeah, either/or

look at the spin chief, battered and broken
clutching a plastic rose
we’re all in the downpour you carry around for
trashing a lifestyle you’ve never known

it’s a useful dream that makes
quite an entertaining show and not much more
up against and for, either/or

eh...i dont really have much to say other than...oregon's still cold. we've had like 3 days of sun in like a million years..and a couple weeks ago it was even snowing in good ol' p-town. seeing as how theres actually been snow this year ive been making the most out of my Mt Hood Meadows season pass and going boarding as much as i can...havent been surfing since november tho which kinda sucks but whatever...i wanna take advantage of the snow before global warming kicks in enormously and snow becomes a thing of the past.  i haven't really been doing much in portland..i don't have a job or anything and i don't plan on getting one for awhile...me and work do not get along which doesnt really matter cause atleast i can afford to not work.  all ive really been doing here is going around the city taking pictures, mostly up in the hills where i live for lack of better things to do. mostly been hanging out with friends and/or my boyfriend noah, going to parties.. whatever im in the mood for. ive also been being preached at on trimet quite often lately...i think all the bible thumpers have moved up north so beware. so yea anyway that was the uber exciting update on my life. it's been really chill lately now that im officially a college drop out and living as a rich bum basically...and also portland relaxes me alot for some reason and i feel more at home here which has cut down majorly on the depression and stress and  the amount of lovely little pills yours truly has to take which is a good thing.

so yea anyway heres a song ive pretty much had stuck in my head for a week or two..kinda relates to some shit thats been going on:

Activity's killing the actor
And a cop's standing out in the road
Turning traffic away
There was nothing she could do untill after
When his body'd been buried below
Way back in the day

Oh my
Nothing else could have been done
Made his life a lie so
He might
Never have to know anyone
Made his life the lie, you know

I told him that he shouldn't upset her
And that he'd only be making it worse
Invloving somebody else
But I knew that he'd never forget her
While her memory worked in reverse
To keep her safe from herself

And oh my
Nothing else could have been done
She made her life a lie so
She might
Never have to know anyone
Made her life the lie, you know

What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
All I want now is happiness
For you and me

tis winder again in orygun and uhh very little snow so far. highly gay and all that. lizzle is pissed. mexican style. i havent updated this shit in so fuckin long..everyones gone off and got gayspace and forgot about me i'm sure.  still in portland. still no job. no college (but i think im goin to Humboldt State in norcal in a year and a half). still with noah...and lookin into this marriage thing eventually (if all goes well). still a rich bum. unaffected by george bush's lastest taxes on the poor so i can continue living in the west hills and getting 10 grand tax free for christmas. havent been home for over a year. havent talked to my family at home in longer haha....uhh so shits basically the same ol' shit as always...cept for christmas...that was a fair bit of an adventure.  we were sposed to have like 20 people coming to the house..from as far away as ann arbor and coldwater michigan and NYC...so it was sposed to be a downright party you know..then shit kinda flipped and noah ran off to San Francisco for like a week which was lovely.  but shit turned out good and i made it up to seattle on christmas day to kick it with the family members i can actually tolerate.  havent been so happy this week tho...lost the meds..or they got jacked or somehting so my mooms been all over the place..not so cool. but just another day in the life of me.

Ben Folds--All is fair in love

Well, he shouted out his last word
and he stumbled through the yard
and she shattered her last china plate
and spun off in the car
When he lunged onto the hood
she stopped to tell him she'd been wrong
He was thrown head over heels
into the traffic coming on

But then
All is fair
all is fair in love

Did you get my other letters
sometimes I think I oughta call
cause you know I often
wonder if you open them at all
Every couple nights or so
you know you pop into my dreams
I just can't get rid of you
like you got rid of me
Ohh but I send my best
Cause God knows you've seen
my worst

Yeah well
All is fair
all is fair in love

All this breathing in never
breathing out,(x4)
Well I guess she made her way
through the mob too late to
hear him say
That he'd gotten all he wanted
a crowd to watch him bear the pain
he'd been keeping in
so what

But then
All is fair
all is fair in love

Am I right?
Am I right?
Not only am I right
I'm lonely and I'm right
Yeah